If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
