OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
