Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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