Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
