I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
