I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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