I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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