I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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