you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
