I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
