i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
