i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
