We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
