I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
