My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
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Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
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That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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