He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
