I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
