Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
