she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So squirting runs in the family.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize