She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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