If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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