If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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