I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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