She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
