I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
