My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
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He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
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Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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