Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
