I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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