Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
