He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
