Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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