dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
