problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
