I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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