You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
