Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
