I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize