i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
