I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I wish you could order shots online.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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