your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I booty called her while she was in labor.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
