k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
