We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize