I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
So squirting runs in the family.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
