why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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