I'm lost and stupid without you.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
