That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
