He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
