It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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