Heybabeimwearingurpanties
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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