The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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