I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
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Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
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I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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