Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
