well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
