I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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