They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
