I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
