I love black thongs
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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